Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
