u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
