so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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