whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
