I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
