Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
