Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
