Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
