My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
