I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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