goodnight i made you a song goodbye
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
