I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
