new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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