my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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