Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
