you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
