I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Please don't give away my fajitas
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
