Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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