That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
