i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
