You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
