Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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