We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
