guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
