both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
