I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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