My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
