I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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