You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Your shirt... Was in my pants
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
