Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
