my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
