Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
