Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
you will always have a special place in my vag
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Randomize
