I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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