I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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