Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
