Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
