I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
