hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i will never coherently bang her
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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