you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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