So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
this is an emotional support booty call
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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