so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
