Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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