never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
