Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
i need some magic done to my vagina
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
