yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
