I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
