sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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