I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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