She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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