4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
